10 Things You Probably Will Dislike About Expat Life In Germany

1.Walk/Don't walk signs.

The crossing times are often much too short and it is almost impossible to make it across a street with a median strip. You inevitably get trapped in the middle. I also don't know why the Germans can't have count-down or blinking warnings like those in the US. A Berlin TV channel did a report on this. The other big problem cited: Long wait times for a green ampelmännchen. 

2.Non-enforcement of laws and regulations. 

The Germans may not be very good at making some legal decisions, but they are very good at making rules and laws. They have wonderful laws concerning cleaning up dog poop, not smoking in certain places, not making noise at certain times, and banning alcohol/food/drinks on public transportation. But such rules and laws are ignored by so many Germans so often that it becomes a joke. I have seen so many German scoff laws lately, that I may have to reconsider the stereotype of law-abiding, "Ordnung muss sein" Germans. They seem to be disappearing. 

3.So-called 'Mexican' restaurants. 

Why call it 'Mexican' if you serve food that is not even remotely Mexican? Although they are all over the place, I have never found a truly Mexican restaurant in Germany. You'd think they could at least make a decent Margarita, but you'd be wrong. Forget Mexican, amigo! Find a good Italian or Greek place, of which there are many. 

4.Graffiti. 

Yes, we have graffiti in the US, but it usually gets cleaned up or painted over at some point. In Germany, and particularly in Berlin, old graffiti can be seen in public places and on private property for years. In my experience, Rome may be worse, but Berlin isn't far behind. I don't think Europeans even notice it any more. There also seems to be little or no effort to discourage graffiti in the first place. This seems to be a European problem and not just a German one. 

5.Unfriendly shop clerks and cashiers. 

Even the Germans complain about customer service in Germany. That's nothing new. But I'm talking about when you go to the same store almost every day, and the cashier you've already seen a hundred times acts like she has never seen you before in her life. How about even some superficial friendliness for a regular customer? A smile of recognition? Is that too much to ask? Ja. 

7.Almost no toll-free numbers. 

In Germany they have a great nationwide scam called '14 cents per minute'. Customers have to pay to call their own bank or customer service hotlines – at the usual rate of 14 euro cents (18 US cents) per minute (mobile rates may be higher). Very few firms offer an 800 toll-free call option, but Germans (and other Europeans) just accept this outrage. I had to pay to call my German bank to cancel my debit card after it was lost. I even had to pay for the holding time while I listened to music! (A new law preventing that has yet to go into effect.) Companies in the US calculate their 800-number service as a part of doing business.

8.Paying to pee. 

I covered this in an earlier blog, but I wanted to include it here. Just to add to what I already wrote: Germany has a long tradition of restroom (toilet) attendants who earn money with tips for keeping toilets clean. There is often a small note or sign with a suggested tip of 30 or 50 euro cents. Pay-toilets (with turnstiles) are popular money-makers in train stations and on the autobahn. I think it's a plot to keep German unemployment figures low. I'll be glad to get back to the land of the free (toilets). 

9.Lack of barrier-free access. 

Although this has improved in recent years, barrier-free access to buildings and public transportation still leaves much to be desired. It is no fun to be in a wheelchair at all, but in Berlin it can be a major challenge. Even for people who can walk but have problems with stairs, or parents with prams, there are still S-Bahn and U-Bahn stations without any elevators or escalators. And even when there are escalators and/or elevators, they are are often kaput – on a regular basis. (The same is true for ticket machines!) The elevators (you have to take two to get to the platform) at our Frankurter Tor U-Bahn station are out of order on a regular basis. 

10.Traffic signals. 

Why do Europeans put traffic lights on the wrong side of intersections? Can't they figure out that they wouldn't need those extra miniature lights if they would just put the signals where they belong in the first place? And those little lights are no help at all when you're making a left turn, out in the middle of the intersection, and you can't tell if the light has changed or not. I thought Germans were more logical, but not when it comes to the placement of traffic signals. And while we're on the topic: Do German drivers really need a 'warning' yellow light before the signal turns green? 

11.Cigarette smoking.

I'll cover this in more detail in the 'ugly' list, but Germans smoke too much and in too many places. I'm lucky to have non-smoking German friends and relatives, but sometimes it seems like they are a tiny minority. Even walking on the street, you can't escape the cigarette smoke from passers-by who have to smoke even when they are walking (or bicycling) down the street. German sidewalk cafés have become torture for us non-smokers. Since smoking was banned inside bars and restaurants, all the smokers sit outside, puffing away, and the wind always seems to be blowing their smoke in your direction. Health-conscious Germans? Where are they? 

12.The weather. 

Yes, I am complaining about something no one has any control over! Summer in Berlin this year was almost non-existent. While southern Europe cooked, northern Germany in July and August was like fall anywhere else. Some days the 'high' was in the mid 60s! And sunny days have been a rarity as well. Someone needs to tell the German weather people that it's still summer in the northern hemisphere. 

13.Sweetness. 

I usually like sweet things, but not sweet popcorn, sweet salad dressing and sweet sauces. I had not realised how much the Germans prefer things sweeter than I do until I stayed there. Even Asian sauces get ruined here when they cater to German tastes! And speaking of weird food, how about hot chili potato chips and other odd snack foods? Who comes up with this stuff?